…but shit..if that cold day in hell came at some point, these are the instructions to live by. This is the manual for anyone looking to work and how to be unproductive. One of my best buds has a 9-5 job and out of that takes 2 hours lunches, reads novels while taking a 1 hr dump, smokes weed on his break and thanks to a union, will probably never get fired. Oh and twice, he sent me porn pics from his work email address. Captain Slacker is his name.