With people bitching about the economy and how its Wall Street’s fault that the moron working at McDonalds owns a home with zero down, worth 1/2 a million in mortgage payments and a BMW he cannot afford in the drive way and more credit card debt that income, I for one am happy. Let these suckers burn for not knowing how to live within their means and not knowing how to work hard in life rather than buying into a fake sense of success.

Am I an asshole? Maybe to some. But I saved, paid cash and never lived in too much debt. Like any human, I did carry a balance a few months, but never something that would make my anus bleed from stress. So when this economic downturn came, I started looking for deals. I bought a brand new Lexus in cash and now, I wanted to travel.

lasvegassignInitially I wanted to hit up Amsterdam since its been a while. But with the new stance on the Red Light District and Drug laws, I felt it would not worth while. Then my American pride kicked in and told me to look within my country. Since I like to support the local arts and ofcourse, single moms, I decided to go someplace where strippers probably outnumber patrons compared to any other state. Nevada was the place and Las Vegas was set.

The cost of the trip broke down like this:
Flight from East Coast – $175 pp
Hotel – Tower Dexluxe Room – $279 each nite for me (the other three took another suite and split that thee ways)
Food – $40 pp each day
Drinks – Free at Casinos
Clubs – Free Entry, $40 pp each night on drinks
Car Rental – $150 for the week
Misc – $1000 pp

My dick of a roommate had a hard time getting time off, and when he finally did (after I came up with the excuse to use – jury duty), we had to get tickets for us and two of our boys.

Now for anyone reading this, DO NOT go with your GF or wife, Vegas is the play ground for men. Casinos, Food, banging club scene and titties galore!

bellagioOur hotel was the Bellagio and it was really nice. One thing to note, if ladies are going to approach you in the lounge and bars in the hotel, THE ARE HOOKERS. My idiot roommate did not know that and it was only when she quoted her bloated rate for some 1 on 1 action that his brain overtook the thought process.

The strip club scene is great too. If you are looking to watch that is. The prices for lap dances are a little bloated, but the girls are HAWT. Some were willing to come home with you, but at a price. I have money, but don’t need to pay for this when I have a stripper on side back home.

If you are like me, you are a person that takes care of his body like its a shrine. I hit the gym for times like this. When we were at the club, I do not need a wing man and like a sticky fly trap on the wall, these girls were around me without much work.

In 5 days I hooked up with 6 girls. Do the math and figure out who that odd girl got thrown into the mix.

Now a lot of you are also going to wonder about the Casinos. I was not really looking to hit the Casinos but did spend a few hours in various spots along the strip. They are ALL THE SAME. The odds or winning are the same, the games are the same so if any idiot out there says one casino is better than another, he is more retarded than the kid in your class that rode the short yellow bus when you were young.

I managed to spend $400 at the casino and at one point was up $200. However, I did lose that but knew to leave with my initial money. Therefore, I broke even. It was fun entertainment. For those thinking they are going to hit it big, dont bother, you are going to be disappointed and lose your money and also ruin your trip. Trust me.

The two friends that rolled to Vegas with me and my roommate thought they would turn their $1000 cash into something big. You can only tell your friends so many times that this is not going to happen before you give up and just wait for them to fail so you can donkey punch them in the nuts. This is what I did. When they lost the money, I waited for them to get in the elevator with me and probably another 2 random couples and gave them a show they were remember.

As my friends began to bitch about their loss on the Blackjack tables, I punched both of them in the gonads without warnings. Why? I dont want to hear whining. I get enough of that from girls who cry when I dont call them back. I came to relax. One of my boys yacked outside the elevator once its stopped and the other never got off. I wish I had my camera phone on record. It made my trip.

Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. And for those leaving their significant other behind, NO CAMERA NO EVIDENCE suckers!