guys, I’m fucking dying and begging anyone out there to not do a pancake eating contest. This was a couple of days ago now and finally I have decent energy and limited regurgitation of maple syrup clumps of dough coming back up my throat. This was one intense competition.

Before I get to the actual contest, I will say that my preparation was not that great due to only having 24hrs but still, I drank a lot of water and pissed it out and made sure that I had no liquid or food at least 2 hrs before the contest. I was feeling good to go. Before going out for the contest, I did pay homage with mister wizard the magic bong who provided my with focus and energy. I also did some crunches outside the IHOP parking lot just before we went in to get the stomach all loose.

The group that went was obviously myself and my roommate who was challenging me and a bunch of witnesses to ensure the contest was “regulated” whatever the fuck that means…all I know was we were eating pancakes at a pancake pace…what the hell needs to be regulated?

Anyways, it did not matter what you put on your pancakes in terms of syrup or jams, or how fast you ate a certain number. The time frame was 1hr and you can eat as many as you could in that span and keep them down. So no Roman Bath-House (eat and then barf it out to make more room).

Well when the contest started, we each had 8 cakes in front of us and those were all gone fast, but as the contest dragged on, each stack of 3 was getting harder to eat. You all know that pancakes are like cement when they go in your stomach right? it was literally weight piling up.

So in the end, I managed to take down 19 pancakes and my roommate took in 20. I dont know how the hell he did it, especially since it was all drenched in syrup and strawberry jam shit…really heavy stuff. Well we left the place and were heading to the car, and remember, the rule was to hold the pancakes and what happened outside, my roommate vomited all over the place. I mean, chunks were all over the entrance, handicap spot, some persons car, it was UGLY! But with this rule in place, I won. I managed to hold down the fort and even while watching his insides get vomited out, all I did was laugh at this misery and pain. I am an asshole but love it!

by jsc♥

As the winner of this competition, I first partied with Mister Wizard in my room before it finally began to hit me hard. I mean, each burp was just bad, and eventually passed out. When I woke up on Monday, it was probably one of the longest, hardest days of my life. I ate nothing but could only swallow water. It was rough and had to get to Thai boxing in the evening. I tried to force vomit the food out but nothing happened. I seriously messed up my body on this contest as Thai boxing is where I got my ass kicked bad.

Even today has been a mildly rough day that is gradually improving. I don’t know what cheap ingredients that IHOP uses, but as much as the idea of the contest was fun, the after affects are too harsh. I mean, winning and watching my friend hurling all over peoples cars was memorable and totally awesome, but fuck, the lethargic affects are killing me.

Word of advise, don’t do this contest!